One of these days I’m going to write a book. Not another novel. A book about when God calls you to something that is light years outside your comfort zone. I have a lot to say about it.
I’ve been writing stuff down everyday—good things, bad things, encouraging things, real things.
In fact, I wrote something down yesterday. Except…. I didn’t think of it on my own. I wish I could take credit, but there’s no credit due me.
God has called our family to plant a church in our area to impact and reach people who probably would never attend “traditional” church. You can check that out here.
I have never been so sure of any other call God has placed on my life. And also, it’s hard. Hard, hard, hard. Letting go of ‘safe’ is hard. New is hard. Unknown is hard… and beautiful and fulfilling and exciting. And also hard.
As I look back over the last couple of months I think, “How did I ever have the guts to do what we did?” And I’m proud of me. And then there are days like yesterday.
Yesterday I was not strong. Yesterday I was not proud of me. Yesterday I was a mess. I even apologized to God for losing faith in Him and me and people. I took my eyes off Him, and it was a bad move.
I listened to voices that weren’t from God, whispering words that hurt. I believe they were more misinformed than intentional. Still, words hurt.
And so I cried. I cried by myself. I cried to my cat (which was pointless. He completely ignored me. Little jerk.) Then I cried to my husband. I cried, and then I asked a question. (Looking back, I don’t think I asked it expecting an answer, but I’m glad I got one.)
“What are we supposed to do?”
And this is what my husband said,
“This is what we do. We walk this road we’re on with grace in one hand and love in the other and extend both to everyone, even when it’s hard. Even when it’s not deserved. That’s what we do.”
My spirit soaked up every last drop of those words, and, almost instantly, I felt hope again. Even strength. What wise words not only for me in that particular moment, but for everyone, always.
A sweet friend recommended an author to me yesterday, and this is something I read,
“Our deepest fear is judgment. Our deepest longing is love. The gospel of grace removes the one and provides the other.”
It’s not about me and how strong or weak I am. (Thank goodness.) It’s not about what I say or what others say or what my husband says. It’s not about what I want or what anyone else wants. It’s about walking in obedience to God, accepting the grace and love of Jesus, then extending that grace and love to others, even when it’s hard.
That’s what we do.